Barry Sonnenfeld, Call Your Mother: Memoirs of a Neurotic Filmmaker
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- Create Date：2021-11-10 14:16:01
- Update Date：2025-09-24
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- Author：Barry Sonnenfeld
- ISBN：0316415626
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Summary
**A New York Times Editor's Choice selection！**
This outrageous and hilarious memoir follows a film and television director’s life， from his idiosyncratic upbringing to his unexpected career as the director behind such huge film franchises as The Addams Family and Men in Black。
Barry Sonnenfeld's philosophy is， "Regret the Past。 Fear the Present。 Dread the Future。" Told in his unmistakable voice， Barry Sonnenfeld， Call Your Mother is a laugh-out-loud memoir about coming of age。 Constantly threatened with suicide by his over-protective mother， disillusioned by the father he worshiped， and abused by a demonic relative， Sonnenfeld somehow went on to become one of Hollywood's most successful producers and directors。
Written with poignant insight and real-life irony， the book follows Sonnenfeld from childhood as a French horn player through graduate film school at NYU， where he developed his talent for cinematography。 His first job after graduating was shooting nine feature length pornos in nine days。 From that humble entrée， he went on to form a friendship with the Coen Brothers， launching his career shooting their first three films。
Though Sonnenfeld had no ambition to direct， Scott Rudin convinced him to be the director of The Addams Family。 It was a successful career move。 He went on to direct many more films and television shows。 Will Smith once joked that he wanted to take Sonnenfeld to Philadelphia public schools and say， "If this guy could end up as a successful film director on big budget films， anyone can。" This book is a fascinating and hilarious roadmap for anyone who thinks they can't succeed in life because of a rough beginning。
This outrageous and hilarious memoir follows a film and television director’s life， from his idiosyncratic upbringing to his unexpected career as the director behind such huge film franchises as The Addams Family and Men in Black。
Barry Sonnenfeld's philosophy is， "Regret the Past。 Fear the Present。 Dread the Future。" Told in his unmistakable voice， Barry Sonnenfeld， Call Your Mother is a laugh-out-loud memoir about coming of age。 Constantly threatened with suicide by his over-protective mother， disillusioned by the father he worshiped， and abused by a demonic relative， Sonnenfeld somehow went on to become one of Hollywood's most successful producers and directors。
Written with poignant insight and real-life irony， the book follows Sonnenfeld from childhood as a French horn player through graduate film school at NYU， where he developed his talent for cinematography。 His first job after graduating was shooting nine feature length pornos in nine days。 From that humble entrée， he went on to form a friendship with the Coen Brothers， launching his career shooting their first three films。
Though Sonnenfeld had no ambition to direct， Scott Rudin convinced him to be the director of The Addams Family。 It was a successful career move。 He went on to direct many more films and television shows。 Will Smith once joked that he wanted to take Sonnenfeld to Philadelphia public schools and say， "If this guy could end up as a successful film director on big budget films， anyone can。" This book is a fascinating and hilarious roadmap for anyone who thinks they can't succeed in life because of a rough beginning。
Reviews
da AL
，
"Call yourself what you want， be what you want， and don't blame your parents。" If anyone else wrote this， I'd call that a pat answer。 Coming for Barry， who masterfully describes his wretched upbringing without rancor， these are generous words of wisdom。 The humor in his writing comes from his unflinching bravery to call a spade a spade and move through， then forward。 Your honesty， Barry， is much appreciated。 "Call yourself what you want， be what you want， and don't blame your parents。" If anyone else wrote this， I'd call that a pat answer。 Coming for Barry， who masterfully describes his wretched upbringing without rancor， these are generous words of wisdom。 The humor in his writing comes from his unflinching bravery to call a spade a spade and move through， then forward。 Your honesty， Barry， is much appreciated。 。。。more
Lorraine Tully
，
Fun， interesting， never boring， enjoyed it except for the disgusting detailed porn accounts。 Can't recommend it to everyone because of it。 No one needs it。 Fun， interesting， never boring， enjoyed it except for the disgusting detailed porn accounts。 Can't recommend it to everyone because of it。 No one needs it。 。。。more
Kristine
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total hoot
Sarala Dee
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One of the funniest books I have read in a very long time。 I actually laughed out loud many many times！！！I have always admired him as a director， but hadnt realized what an incredibly intelligent and resourceful person he is。 This is a delightful book， especially for anyone who is a film enthusiast。
Richard
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Wonderful。 Read it over two days。 Superb。 Thoroughly recommended
Karen Davis Engelbert
，
In a not strictly chronological order Barry Sonnenfeld humorously documents his family life--with his neurotic mother， his philandering father， his pedophile cousin， and his wife--and his career path from cinematographer to director。 There are many references to folks in the movie business who are part of his story and whose names mean nothing to me， as well as movie-making terms and camera specifications also of which are unfamiliar。 He has obviously led an interesting life and crossed paths wi In a not strictly chronological order Barry Sonnenfeld humorously documents his family life--with his neurotic mother， his philandering father， his pedophile cousin， and his wife--and his career path from cinematographer to director。 There are many references to folks in the movie business who are part of his story and whose names mean nothing to me， as well as movie-making terms and camera specifications also of which are unfamiliar。 He has obviously led an interesting life and crossed paths with many celebrities， which lends to the appeal of making it an entertaining read。 。。。more
Melanie Dunne
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I enjoy listening to memoirs， and this one， read by the quirky neurotic author was very entertaining。 On the cover of the book is a quote by Jerry Seinfeld， “If I had to go to prison and found out that Barry Sonnenfeld would be my cellmate， I would think， this will be a breeze。” With that endorsement， I was interested and not disappointed。 I laughed out loud numerous times and chuckled when I could tell the author was using air quotes， just from his tone of voice。 I would’ve given the book fives I enjoy listening to memoirs， and this one， read by the quirky neurotic author was very entertaining。 On the cover of the book is a quote by Jerry Seinfeld， “If I had to go to prison and found out that Barry Sonnenfeld would be my cellmate， I would think， this will be a breeze。” With that endorsement， I was interested and not disappointed。 I laughed out loud numerous times and chuckled when I could tell the author was using air quotes， just from his tone of voice。 I would’ve given the book fives stars if it wasn’t for a TMI chapter about his stint as a porn movie camera man。 🤮 。。。more
Kathy
，
I really enjoyed about 75% of this book。 Sonnenfeld’s humor and unique voice really shine through。 Worth the read， even though you’ll have to sit with the very difficult episodes involving cousin Mike the child molester。 You could also skip the frequently horrifying porn chapter。 The rest is brilliantly entertaining！
David
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It's engaging， but very anecdotal and often frustratingly unfocused。 I wish he'd gone deeper on a lot of his career。 Still a fun read though。 It's engaging， but very anecdotal and often frustratingly unfocused。 I wish he'd gone deeper on a lot of his career。 Still a fun read though。 。。。more
Cathy Miller
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I never heard of him before reading a book review 。 He has led one heck of a life; shows how taking chances pays off。 I particularly loved the chapters about his parents， especially his mom。 I feel most moms are "Jewish" at heart when it comes to their children。 This book would make a terrific weekly dramadey。 I hope someone picks it up and does something with it， it could be a combo of Seinfeld， Curb Your Enthusiam， and the Goldbergs all in one， it was that good。 I never heard of him before reading a book review 。 He has led one heck of a life; shows how taking chances pays off。 I particularly loved the chapters about his parents， especially his mom。 I feel most moms are "Jewish" at heart when it comes to their children。 This book would make a terrific weekly dramadey。 I hope someone picks it up and does something with it， it could be a combo of Seinfeld， Curb Your Enthusiam， and the Goldbergs all in one， it was that good。 。。。more
Brittany Smillie
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Honestly， I was disappointed when this was over。 I laughed out loud， I cried， and most of all I was just totally engrossed。 Well written and genuinely so interesting。
Julian Munds
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A fine memoire that is better listened to than read。 It's non linear but that's because it's more a reckoning with things in the past then it is a story of a life。 The porn episode is hilarious and some the stranger moments of emotional abuse are fascinating。 A good read。 A fine memoire that is better listened to than read。 It's non linear but that's because it's more a reckoning with things in the past then it is a story of a life。 The porn episode is hilarious and some the stranger moments of emotional abuse are fascinating。 A good read。 。。。more
Carol
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Some parts of this book will make you laugh out loud。 However， in my opinion， the chapter about the porn movie， seemed too long and out of place。 Again， just my opinion。
Jeffrey Shrader
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I read this entirely on the strength of Adam's review。 I had never heard of Barry Sonnenfeld。 I kinda enjoyed Men in Black， and I like the Coen Brothers as much as the next guy。 But true to Adam's review， the book is hilarious。 It is basically like listening to a very long， increasingly incredible episode of This American Life。 I read this entirely on the strength of Adam's review。 I had never heard of Barry Sonnenfeld。 I kinda enjoyed Men in Black， and I like the Coen Brothers as much as the next guy。 But true to Adam's review， the book is hilarious。 It is basically like listening to a very long， increasingly incredible episode of This American Life。 。。。more
Austin
，
I never gave Sonnenfeld much thought beyond being the director of MIB， but this is one of the most entertaining memoirs by an entertainer that I’ve ever read。 The stream-of-consciousness asides sprinkled throughout the chapters perfectly punctuate his neuroses。 The stories are hilarious， insightful， and unfiltered。 I don’t know if I’ve come away from a book with a clearer understanding of how one’s mind works than I have with this one。
Elizabeth Majka
，
Wow has this guy had a life。 A great audiobook to delve into。 And a great listen for popular film buffs。 It's an honest memoir about growing up with not-so-great parents who are beloved by the outside community， and the fight to become a successful adult in a career that can turn an already neurotic person into an absolute wreck。 Highly recommend。 Wow has this guy had a life。 A great audiobook to delve into。 And a great listen for popular film buffs。 It's an honest memoir about growing up with not-so-great parents who are beloved by the outside community， and the fight to become a successful adult in a career that can turn an already neurotic person into an absolute wreck。 Highly recommend。 。。。more
Holly Ristau
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I heard an NPR interview and thought I might enjoy this book， and I did laugh on and off throughout， but the porno chapter was so disgusting， I wouldn't recommend it to anybody。 It was interesting that in one chapter of the book， Sonnenfeld demanded to remove a movie scene to save $250，000 on a film， using the excuse that "the scene didn't advance the story。" The person who wanted that scene included personally paid to have that scene left in。 I wonder if Barry didn't have the same discussion wi I heard an NPR interview and thought I might enjoy this book， and I did laugh on and off throughout， but the porno chapter was so disgusting， I wouldn't recommend it to anybody。 It was interesting that in one chapter of the book， Sonnenfeld demanded to remove a movie scene to save $250，000 on a film， using the excuse that "the scene didn't advance the story。" The person who wanted that scene included personally paid to have that scene left in。 I wonder if Barry didn't have the same discussion with his publishers， because there was little humor and no advancement of his story， he just wanted to tell it。 Yuk。 It is bad。 I wonder if his publishers made him pay for the inclusion？ He also admitted at the end of the book that that chapter would limit the readership of the book。 The name dropping and stories behind some of my favorite movies was fun to read， but if you do attempt this one， skip the porno chapter。 。。。more
Lee Anne
，
After hearing Sonnenfeld on Gilbert Gottfried’s podcast， I put this on my to-check-out-from-the-library list。 That was 6 months ago or so， and I wasn’t sure， once I got it， if I’d still want to read it。 Making matters worse， I checked it out weeks after mega-producer Scott Rudin was “outed” （I had heard it for years， so not much of an outing） as an abusive monster， and Rudin is one of the men responsible for Sonnenfeld’s switch from cinematography to directing。 In fact， I am pretty sure Sonnenfe After hearing Sonnenfeld on Gilbert Gottfried’s podcast， I put this on my to-check-out-from-the-library list。 That was 6 months ago or so， and I wasn’t sure， once I got it， if I’d still want to read it。 Making matters worse， I checked it out weeks after mega-producer Scott Rudin was “outed” （I had heard it for years， so not much of an outing） as an abusive monster， and Rudin is one of the men responsible for Sonnenfeld’s switch from cinematography to directing。 In fact， I am pretty sure Sonnenfeld himself was named in a long-ago magazine article as an on-set screamer， not as toxic as the tyrannical Rudin， who also throws things， but still not fun。 But he was a goddamn delight on Gilbert， and this book is more of the same。 Funny， deeply profane and dirty （he had a stint as a porn cameraman， and the story he tells about that is one of the filthiest things I’ve read outside 120 Days of Sodom）， and also painful。 Sonnenfeld is the child of a neurotic， hypochondriac mother who lacked both housekeeping and cooking skills， and a inept， frequently broke father who was also a profligate cheater。 And。。。they turned a blind eye to the family cousin who for years slept on their sofa， while also molesting Sonnenfeld and every other child he could get his hands on。It’s no surprise that Sonnenfeld grew up to be a neurotic mess， but it is impressive that he grew up to be such a success， both as the genius cinematographer behind the early Coen Brothers films， and a bankable director of the Addams Family movies， Men in Black， and Get Shorty， amongst others。 And yes， Scott Rudin does appear， and yes， he sounds like a horrible person。 Sonnenfeld explains it away in what I’m sure is the same way all of Hollywood has: Rudin is either the nicest， sweetest in your corner guy， or he’s a complete raging asshole， and you never know which one will appear at any time。 That he’s made a bunch of people rich while behaving that way is how he’s gotten away with it。 Anyway， as far as Hollywood memoirs go， this one is pretty fun。 。。。more
Helen Lemus
，
Have to caution the squeamish that there is a chapter describing a particularly harrowing experience of his after he graduated from film school。 He took a job as a cameraman for a pornography producer。 It was not recommended reading for high school students。 Yet， he approached the difficult and tragic moments of his life with candor and humor。 Then， he included many descriptions of people in the film industry that were hilarious， but never mean spirited。 It was a lively read， but did not always Have to caution the squeamish that there is a chapter describing a particularly harrowing experience of his after he graduated from film school。 He took a job as a cameraman for a pornography producer。 It was not recommended reading for high school students。 Yet， he approached the difficult and tragic moments of his life with candor and humor。 Then， he included many descriptions of people in the film industry that were hilarious， but never mean spirited。 It was a lively read， but did not always follow a chronological order。 Loved it。 。。。more
Sarah
，
I listened to this book。 It was enjoyable and funny in parts。 His early career was the most interesting to me for sure。 I will say he makes Hollywood/mainstream film work sound like a tedious nightmare。
Dan
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Nice and quick， lovely little tidbits and tales， even had me laughing out loud at parts。 It’s a little scatterbrained but it’s very entertaining。 The porn chapter is gonna have a permanent place in my brain for a while。 Wild stuff。
Sean
，
One star just for the Robert Greenhut quote Sonnenfeld relates about cinematographer Gordon Willis: "Willis lights for radio。"There are some amusing anecdotes in here。 Surely the only reason Sonnenfeld wrote this book is due to a lifetime of people at parties telling him his anecdotes are hilarious and his childhood insane and he should write a book about it。Problem is， that's all this is: A collection of anecdotes。 Sonnenfeld isn't much of a writer。 There's no sense of a larger story being told One star just for the Robert Greenhut quote Sonnenfeld relates about cinematographer Gordon Willis: "Willis lights for radio。"There are some amusing anecdotes in here。 Surely the only reason Sonnenfeld wrote this book is due to a lifetime of people at parties telling him his anecdotes are hilarious and his childhood insane and he should write a book about it。Problem is， that's all this is: A collection of anecdotes。 Sonnenfeld isn't much of a writer。 There's no sense of a larger story being told， no reflection on anything that happens to him， nothing about how he felt about making the movies he did， or the career he had。 Just some random anecdotes。 He doesn't even get to his movie career until over halfway through the book。 Then says not a single word about Raising Arizona or Miller's Crossing。 And just tosses out a few stories surrounding a few of the movies he directed or shot。 It's just cocktail party fodder in book form。And what's with this fly-by-night publisher， Hachette Books？ They're actually too cheap to hire a copyeditor！ It's one thing for Sonnenfeld not to know the difference between the verbs "to lie" and "to lay，" but you'd hope a publisher of books would。 The book is littered with absurd typographical errors。 And when you read "fowl" in place of "foul，" all you can do is laugh。 。。。more
El_kiablo
，
Man， it is a shame that Sonnenfeld is such a bad writer， because if his prose was good then this would be a great book。 On paper this should be an ideal Hollywood memoir。 A good celebrity book should be informative， exciting and honest。 And he does check those boxes， because his career arc goes from porn cameraman to documentary filmmaker to cinematographer to big budget director - and he has funny / interesting / wild stories about what happened to him every step of the way。But good God I did n Man， it is a shame that Sonnenfeld is such a bad writer， because if his prose was good then this would be a great book。 On paper this should be an ideal Hollywood memoir。 A good celebrity book should be informative， exciting and honest。 And he does check those boxes， because his career arc goes from porn cameraman to documentary filmmaker to cinematographer to big budget director - and he has funny / interesting / wild stories about what happened to him every step of the way。But good God I did not like his writing style at all。 He rarely tells an anecdote from start to finish - which would be fine if I could follow along as he went from a to b to c - but a lot of the time I didn't understand the connective tissue that linked his tangents。 This was jumbled and disorganized in a way that did not work for me at all。If an editor had whipped this into proper shape then it might have been really satisfying。 But alas， this feels less like an actual book and more like a series of late night blog posts that were meant to immortalize some of Barry's best cocktail party icebreakers。 The source material is good， but it isn't so good that it justifies struggling through hundreds of pages of ungainly syntax that's randomly lumped together into arbitrary chapters。 。。。more
Brian
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have not laughed harder of late than in the kidney stone and porn chapters of this book。 would have loved a little deeper dive into the details of the filmmaking but i’ll take it
Tracy Grenville
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The subtitle 'memoirs of a neurotic filmmaker' is spot on。 Sonnenfeld is mighty neurotic。 That being said the book is enjoyable and， no spoilers， chapter 19 is hilarious。 Disgusting and hilarious。 I am not a fan of his films as a director but as a cinematographer he has worked on some interesting movies and he highlights some photographers that influenced him。 The book was a needed distraction for me so if you are looking a read to occupy your time this book should work。 The subtitle 'memoirs of a neurotic filmmaker' is spot on。 Sonnenfeld is mighty neurotic。 That being said the book is enjoyable and， no spoilers， chapter 19 is hilarious。 Disgusting and hilarious。 I am not a fan of his films as a director but as a cinematographer he has worked on some interesting movies and he highlights some photographers that influenced him。 The book was a needed distraction for me so if you are looking a read to occupy your time this book should work。 。。。more
Bella
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Such humor。
Molly Snyder
，
Such a fun book！ Great read。
Katie
，
I listened to this book - I may not have enjoyed it as much otherwise， but I’m not sure。 The author reads it and I think his tone and inflection and his impression of his mother kind of makes it。
Jane Vincent
，
Loved this book！ Heard his interview with Teri Gross on Fresh Air， had a driveway moment so purchased the book。 He's an incredible storyteller with an incredible life story to tell。 Loved this book！ Heard his interview with Teri Gross on Fresh Air， had a driveway moment so purchased the book。 He's an incredible storyteller with an incredible life story to tell。 。。。more
Mitchell O'Neill
，